10:47 pm - 12/17/2012

Apparently Being a Student-Parent is a "Colossal Blunder"

Being Student-Parents
by Lee Ji-young of Soongsil University in Seoul

Do you think that you will be a father or mother tomorrow? There are many college students who are parents, more than you think these days. A figure released by Sisa Seoul, a newspaper, showed two out of 10 university students have been pregnant or have gotten their girlfriends pregnant. Unplanned pregnancy is the worst mistake students can make.

There are several reasons that being student-parents is the biggest mistake for college students: responsibility, freedom and feelings. First, they aren’t ready for the children because they can’t even take care of themselves. A baby died when his young parents were gaming in an Internet cafe, according to press reports. Second, they should live only for their children, not themselves. They can’t study or hang out with their friends anymore. They lose their own lives because of the baby. Last, they don’t love each other anymore. Actually some students who become parents look after a baby alone because their husband or wife left them, and many of these students decide to abandon their baby for economic reasons.

Pregnancy is not a fantasy but a reality of life. There are a lot of things to be concerned about while raising and nurturing a child such as food and education. To be a student-parent is a colossal blunder and also dangerous. Being a parent is something to be considered carefully and thought over for a long time.

Source: The Korea Times 

as a child born to parents still in university,
i'm not pleased by your remarks. 

onew trying to be patient
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shining_lore 18th-Dec-2012 06:30 am (UTC)
"as a child born to parents still in university,
i'm not pleased by your remarks."

Right? I was gonna say this REEKS of conservative opinion.

Edited at 2012-12-18 06:31 am (UTC)
ideservestars 18th-Dec-2012 06:31 am (UTC)
it reeks of a moronic opinion
gee 18th-Dec-2012 06:30 am (UTC)
Did someone get paid to write this?? I mean, content aside, it's so short. No facts sourced. This is like something you'd write for an English class in middle school or something lol.

My Mom went back to school after I was born, and when I already had 2 older sisters. So suck it dude.
carmine_pink 18th-Dec-2012 08:01 am (UTC)
Seems like it's just an opinion letter.
ideservestars 18th-Dec-2012 06:30 am (UTC)
wat

my cousin and her husband are grad students and have a PLANNED baby.. they are doing just fine. the fuck is this whole argument though?
muzegrey 18th-Dec-2012 08:31 am (UTC)
+1
b1gay4 18th-Dec-2012 06:33 am (UTC)
i actually agree with alot of what the article says.
not trying to judge your parents OP, but uni kids aren't always deemed as responsible people.
actually, there are tons of responsible people in uni, it's just that the ones that want to play 100% of them time and slack off are the ones who should not be getting pregnant/getting their girlfriends pregnant.
I can't word myself correctly urgh this sounds weird doesn't it?
uledy 18th-Dec-2012 03:24 pm (UTC)
lol, no I get you. But I just think the same reasoning can be applied to any potential parent, not just those in uni.
dorawa 18th-Dec-2012 06:35 am (UTC)
what? i'm literally staring at this article, trying to think of something better, but all i got is "what? just no."
purekpopology 18th-Dec-2012 06:38 am (UTC)
The tone of the article is a little ridiculous. While I agree that a lot of college age people aren't mature enough for children, it's not IMPOSSIBLE. They make it sound like the young parents are 100% for sure going to screw up haha.

That being said, I'm not sure why someone would want to have a child when they're still so young themselves. It seems like you'd be giving up a valuable time to focus on yourself to raise a child. It's still not the end of the world like they make it seem though.
muzegrey 18th-Dec-2012 08:30 am (UTC)
Good thing about being a young parent:
It makes not sleeping for 8 months a little bit easier to handle. LOL! And keeping up with a 5 year old is no walk in the park!
sandritablue 18th-Dec-2012 06:51 am (UTC)
Stupid article...idk if this can be called an article.

Edited at 2012-12-18 06:55 am (UTC)
ice_cobalt 18th-Dec-2012 07:03 am (UTC)
Why does this sound like the type of essay a junior high/high schooler kid would write, and not an opinion article written by a university student? D:

I definitely agree that there are difficulties young parents have to go through, but it doesn't mean that it has to be equated to 'colossal blunder' right at the very beginning. As much as there are students messing up their responsibilities as parents, there are also older, more stable parents who mess up being parents as well. I don't...I just don't get the point of this really short article. D:
melizah 18th-Dec-2012 07:14 am (UTC)
Meh. I agree with other comments that saying everyone at uni are immature is an exaggeration.
For those who are a bit on the reckless side, I'd recommend contraception. It might work.

P.S. The writer makes it sound like having children is equal to throwing your life away. This view makes me sad :(.

Edited at 2012-12-18 07:15 am (UTC)
the_erotomanic 18th-Dec-2012 07:25 am (UTC)
i could say the same thing about having children when one is working already. lol!
angela_derp_otp 18th-Dec-2012 08:19 am (UTC)
IA.
angelkitti 18th-Dec-2012 07:41 am (UTC)
I think this is more a problem with Korean views on contraceptives and Korean societal pressures. I think it's easy to look at it from our point of view and feel annoyed or offended by this, but there are definitely cultural differences regarding this.

Some of my Korean friends seemed to think my birth control was scary and that it would severely damage my health. And also said that he didn't use condoms most of the time because they didn't feel good.

That's just one example, but I think it's a very important factor in considering this "article".

Edited at 2012-12-18 07:45 am (UTC)
muzegrey 18th-Dec-2012 08:36 am (UTC)
People are just as judgmental about young parents in America.

Also, just fyi, but birth control is not healthy.

I agree 100% with condom wearing. It just doesn't happen in Korea enough. If Korea stepped up and starting having real sex education instead of the crap they have now, and if people really started to follow through, a lot of these unwanted pregnancies would decrease. And sad but true, so would a lot of the abortions and adoptions and parents who are discriminated against.

But in general, Korea is crazy hard on young parents. The societal pressures are completely misguided and silly.
la_geni 18th-Dec-2012 07:58 am (UTC)
I see where they are coming from especially coming from a degree where there is a lot of group work involved. I dunno how many times the excuse of "My kid..." was used to get out of a meeting or a deadline.

I mean if you have the resources for a babysitter, and have enough maturity to know that you really can't use your kid as a scapegoat, then go for it.
angela_derp_otp 18th-Dec-2012 08:18 am (UTC)
This is such a shitty article tbh.

Since when bad parenting skills is only a trait of young parents?
My parents were also in University when they had their first child and we all grew up pretty well tbh, so IA with you OP.


The generalization is just ridiculous tbh, and yes they are speaking about Korea, but I personally know couples who have their first child when they were in university and they are great parents and didn't had problems while finishing their degree.

On the other hand I know people who got married later and had their first child when they were already done with their studies and working and they struggle as parents, mentioning the lack of freedom and being unable to handle the responsibility of a child not that well.

It goes both ways, I just fee like this article has such a narrow view, even if its talking about Korea.

Edited at 2012-12-18 08:25 am (UTC)
burger 18th-Dec-2012 08:19 am (UTC)
Well I do agree that a lot of university aged people can be immature, but so can a lot of people at ANY age and with any amount of money and whatever, so idk. But all that aside the letter/article sounds like something a 12-year-old would write lol. "BABIES MAKE PEOPLE NOT LOVE EACH OTHER :("
muzegrey 18th-Dec-2012 08:26 am (UTC)
I am a student-parent. While I wouldn't recommend trying to become a parent while being a young student, if it's happens it's a parent's responsibility to take care of their child if don't want to go through abortion or adoption.

It's people who have a defeatist attitude like this who offer no support but simply say "you were wrong" and act like these children need to be hidden and swept off just so a student can have a few more years of fun and not be embarrassed in their family and society that are screwed up.

"Accidents" happen. I took birth control and still got pregnant though I took it properly. So it's not like everyone is being totally reckless out there.

Secondly, there are things such as family and babysitters. If parents help watch their grandchildren normally, why would it make a difference if a parent is also a student. I'm not saying to take advantage, but this is simply Korean culture.

Yes, it's really damn hard to study for tests, but it can be done. There are times when I have broken down in tears and thought I had to give up everything because I was stretched very thin. But I'm still here and I'm graduating next semester with a DOUBLE MAJOR. It's taken me over 7 years but it CAN be done. I am one of the most easily stressed out people I know even.

I am so sick of people trying to persuade women how to make decision with their bodies and how to live their life. Yes, it will be different. Yes, the peer pressure and gossip sucks like hell. Yes, it's stressful. But you are only in school for a short time. And then life goes on.

Also, parenting is not about focusing your entire life on your child. That KILLS children. The point is to raise a child and prepare them for an adult world. Yes, parents will sacrifice, but children are not meant to provide fulfillment for parents. And living through your children is not okay for them. I know, because one of my parents lived through me. As long as you give attention and affection and discipline, it will be alright to meet friends from time to time and to still have your own interests. It's people who put that pressure on parents that end up ruining what could be a really good parental-child relationship. Kids have better senses than adults and they can tell what motives people have.

You can still travel with children, you can still pretty much do anything with a child, it just takes more preparation and more planning, but it's not at all impossible. I have done it.

Anyway, I just want to say that this is the most wrong thing I have ever read. Responsibility isn't about what you've done or if you made a poor choice, it's about how you handle that decision and how you move forward. As for me, my child is a blessing beyond belief and I don't regret it for a second.
fantaesticbaby 18th-Dec-2012 11:14 am (UTC)
congrats on graduating with a double major! That's so impressive. ^^
And I completely agree with you, this article totally misses the point.
djlancerock 18th-Dec-2012 09:17 am (UTC)
"more than you think these days"

oh ok way to make assumptions about me and my thoughts and every other reader's thoughts. this is so crappily written lol.
hellicoptajuuce 18th-Dec-2012 09:26 am (UTC)
this opinion piece is crappy as hell at least hide your bias with facts
dilettantka 18th-Dec-2012 09:35 am (UTC)
Wow, they publish anything these days in ~newspapers~
xanderloves 18th-Dec-2012 09:50 am (UTC)
Well this was stupid. Majorly stupid.
When I was born my dad was still in uni getting his BA, & in another country.
My mum survived very well taking care of me & my sister while juggling work & my dad sacrificed a lot juggling both studies & family.
We're doing quite comfortably well thanks to this dual-role so this article is kinda one-sided.
isinuyasha 18th-Dec-2012 10:33 am (UTC)
This article is ridiculous.

As if every young parent is irresponsible, my parents got me when they were young and they're very successful now. I'm at university myself now, the argument is invalid. Having children late isn't bad but I prefer my parent to be younger rather than old...having to see a friend of mine, same age as me, lose a parent last week due to OLD AGE was the hardest thing ever, she was barely in her twenties when she had to start caring for her father... (not judging just think it's harder on the child)
iznanassi 18th-Dec-2012 12:29 pm (UTC)
I love how this argument's evidence is that ONE case that happened years ago.
izabera 18th-Dec-2012 01:00 pm (UTC)
///A baby died when his young parents were gaming in an Internet cafe, according to press reports.///
The mother was in her mid-20s and the father in his early 40s and neither of them were students. What has this got to do with students having children?

smh at people who think they have the right to tell women what to do with their own bodies. It works the other way too: when my 44 year old colleague announced she was pregnant, some people told her to abort the baby instead of congratulating her :/
bubblyshades 18th-Dec-2012 03:09 pm (UTC)
omg... That's terrible, how could you say that to someone?

hadashi_no_eden 18th-Dec-2012 03:10 pm (UTC)
Pretty sure pregnancy is not the worst thing that can happen to college students
lelouchikaru 18th-Dec-2012 03:21 pm (UTC)
Students are sent to school to study, not to fuck with each other.

I mean, seriously, this does not happens in Korea alone.

If you don't have the capacity to carry responsibility, why do such action? Then you'll just discard a life made from your own flesh? I second this editorial article and I don't care about all the bullshit thrown to me. Good thing I don't have a girlfriend nor mingle with everyone atm...
uledy 18th-Dec-2012 03:35 pm (UTC)
I don't think the purpose of school is to develop just your academic skills. I think it's also a way to develop and hone social skills and sexuality is part of that. So, if college aged adults want to engage in consensual sexual activities, more power to them.

I don't really understand the logic of the rest of your statement. I don't know how you go from uni students ---> lack of capacity ---> discard of a life (abortion? adoption?). Just curious, mind clarifying?
dreameth4 18th-Dec-2012 04:25 pm (UTC)
this article is ridiculous. how is it in the author of the article's right to dictate whether you are ready for a child or not?
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