1:44 pm - 02/05/2010

I know bitch... I was predicting

Greetings. I am swami_nim, he who knows and is the master of himself. I was guided to your humble community to foretell of future events. I'm sure it is important information to you all.

2009 has passed and ahead of us a whole new year. The great Swami-Nim has seen much of his predictions come to pass through the years. Today I share with you the knowledge of what is to come.






I ask for complete silence. I see.. yes I see it... the images are beginning to take form. It's all coming to me now...

I will now share what I see in the kpop forture!

•Taemin of Shinee fame, will some how gain the physique of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger, of Austrian bodybuilder fame.

•Through a series of nearly impossible events, Taecyeon's cat drawings will come to life. They will form a super group and win rookie of the year. I see so much butthurt.

•Fashion designer Andre Kim will be picked back up by the mother ship and taken promptly forth at the speed of 400,002 onew to his home planet, where he will rule as their king for 250 years. In comparison to earth years this is about 7 months. The revolt will be a bloodbath.

•In a rare tweet, God proclaims I LOVE SHIBROWS MACROS #itsaKPOPthing

•Kim Heechul of Super Junior, will marry his cat Heebum in a quiet ceremony attended by their parents and closest friends. The honeymoon will take place at Korea's Hawaii, Jeju island.

•Haters will still hate, Omona is still great.

•On South Korea's version of Maury Povich, it will be revealed that Yesung truly is the son of the North Korean Supreme leader Kim Jong-il. Upon the revealing of the results, a group of swallows sent by god will descend upon the set and whisk yesung away.

•Russian scientists uncover the gene responsible for the onew condition.

•North Korea commits terrorist attacks that infect populations with the onew condition.

•Singer and actor Rain will almost get the hang of the word 'vegetable' but not quite. It's getting there.

•Korean scientists will successfully cross breed a cat (goyangi) 고양이 and a tiger (holangi) 호랑이 calling it the golangi. (고랑이)

•f.cuz will be censored. No further explanation is given.

•Because of a serious rip in the space-time continuum, JYP spends a week in dinosaur times. Not knowing when or if he will return to his own time he goes on about his life doing normal things such as dating, performing, producing pop groups and raising a family.

•Omona bbz will flourish and multiply.

•f.cuz will officially change their name to fuckahz and in turn skyrocketing their popularity. At which point f(ex)'s manager changes the groups name to fed(ex) resulting in a massive decline in sales but better shipping.

•A particle of dirt floats into Lee Byung Hun's eye causing him to wink in the direction of a woman. There is a misunderstanding and he is slapped with a lawsuit.

•M-Preg becomes an all too real reality.

•G-Dragon will defy all logic and debut a new hairstyle that is a direct copy of vegetable man.

•Yesung will go full retarded. Which I'm told you should never do.

I... I... I'm sorry but the visions are leaving my crystal ball.... everything is becoming very cloudy. Omona, maybe if you look into my ball you will be able to see what lays ahead for us.

Try and tell me your predictions for 2010. No matter how outlandish or silly they may sound. JUST LET YOUR MIND FREE!
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shineebear 5th-Feb-2010 09:47 pm (UTC)
Let me see here. I predict that shinee will come to my slumber party in 2010.
honeebs 5th-Feb-2010 09:50 pm (UTC)
LOL!
shanny_w 5th-Feb-2010 09:51 pm (UTC)
jyp had enough time to raise a family in dinosaur times? :O uh I predict that taemin forms an addiction to flintstone vitamins.
shineebear 5th-Feb-2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
I predict I'll go to rehab with him. For support.
fuuism 5th-Feb-2010 09:51 pm (UTC)
The Jaebom issue comes to an end.
angel_9_lives 5th-Feb-2010 09:59 pm (UTC)
tsk tsk, these are predictions for 2010, not 20-never:P (same with us ever knowing the whole thing going on with dbsk:P)

~Angel
nezumi_kenka 5th-Feb-2010 09:52 pm (UTC)
I predict Gyuri will emerge as HBIC in charge, take over the world, and fuck all your menz.
akaich0u 5th-Feb-2010 10:03 pm (UTC)
Gyuri is already HBIC 8D
bitter_sweet05 5th-Feb-2010 09:52 pm (UTC)
•A particle of dirt floats into Lee Byung Hun's eye causing him to wink in the direction of a woman. There is a misunderstanding and he is slapped with a lawsuit.

LOL.

Oh I forgot. I predict that there will be at least one sex tape/scandal this year. Please?

Edited at 2010-02-05 09:53 pm (UTC)
dipropylene 5th-Feb-2010 09:52 pm (UTC)
LMAO

And I'll never stop reading f.cuz as fuck us.
niara_honey 5th-Feb-2010 09:53 pm (UTC)
THANKS. NOW I'LL NEVER STOP READING IT AS THAT TOO. .-.
topisatop 5th-Feb-2010 09:52 pm (UTC)
I predict that top will become a bottom in 2010. Grass is always greener on the other side.
krazeeangel04 5th-Feb-2010 09:59 pm (UTC)
LOL!
olive_101 5th-Feb-2010 09:52 pm (UTC)
wonder girls will have a new song.

eventually.
cookie_nut 5th-Feb-2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
I hope. :|
telrunyaaa 5th-Feb-2010 09:54 pm (UTC)
DBSK WILL PWN !
yamashita_nana 5th-Feb-2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
THIS.
cookie_nut 5th-Feb-2010 09:54 pm (UTC)
+ The 2PM fandom will implode. Shit will get real. Epic posts will be made. Omona will shit gold bricks.

+ I predict a major scandal involving a female idol. Some shady shit comes to light. Popcorn gifs galore.

+ Omona will make contact with a Kpop idol. Omona will shit platinum bricks.
czarny 5th-Feb-2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
I read that as "make contact with aliens" which may be more likely.
nezumi_kenka 5th-Feb-2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
I also predict that Jihyun and Jiyoon will release a sex tape.
hey_insomnia 5th-Feb-2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
Second ballin' of Jaysus will come soon.
pyramidsonmars 5th-Feb-2010 09:57 pm (UTC)
amen to that!
fuuism 5th-Feb-2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
The Rain and Hyori sex tape surfaces.
cookie_nut 5th-Feb-2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
We are due for a sex tape scandal, truth be told. Or at least nude pics. I wouldn't be surprised if something surfaced before the year was out.
myrobotvoice 5th-Feb-2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
key will dance to girl group choreography.

this is obviously a stretch, but...i had a dream about it once.
elementree 5th-Feb-2010 09:59 pm (UTC)
it would be apocalyptic if he danced to boy group choreography.
fuuism 5th-Feb-2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
A song will be accused of plagiarism and... no, wait.
a_perfect_shade 5th-Feb-2010 10:53 pm (UTC)
i lol'd irl
nezumi_kenka 5th-Feb-2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
I predict that the Jay/Gyuri/Jessica sex tape surfaces. Gyuri topped.
a_perfect_shade 5th-Feb-2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
love_etcetera 5th-Feb-2010 09:57 pm (UTC)


I predict Shineebear will evolve into U-Kissbear.
shineebear 5th-Feb-2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
I should put that name on hold.
angel_9_lives 5th-Feb-2010 09:57 pm (UTC)
rofl, I predict we will still be laughing at this in 2012 right before the planet explodes and we all die:D

~Angel
slayerizedcarol 5th-Feb-2010 10:44 pm (UTC)
♥ xD
atarashiiyoake 5th-Feb-2010 09:57 pm (UTC)
Singer and actor Rain will almost get the hang of the word 'vegetable' but not quite. It's getting there.

lol'ing so much. XD


I predict that Heechul will finally give into Siwon + church now that Geng and his heathen ways are somewhat out of the picture.

And TOP will give up on learning Japanese.
elementree 5th-Feb-2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
basically everyone except taeyang should give up. xD
fuuism 5th-Feb-2010 09:59 pm (UTC)
Everything YGE will be delayed.

My crystal ball is obvious and gloomy.
ayumikoshiro 6th-Feb-2010 02:14 am (UTC)
TT.TT cries at the truth of this .... people forgot that Dae and TOP were supposed to release solo albums last Feb... and whatever happened to the 2nd Rising
czarny 5th-Feb-2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
Oppa it's pronounced horangi.
hoyah 5th-Feb-2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
*dies* i just commented about that xD
hoyah 5th-Feb-2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
horangi

but lol at pretty much all of these

if i predict that dbsk disbands, i'm probably going to die, so i will predict that thsk will set at least five more records before the year is out - i suspect one of them will be "yunho outgays elton john"
elementree 5th-Feb-2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
i predict JYP's creepiness will reach an all-time high.
a_perfect_shade 5th-Feb-2010 10:56 pm (UTC)
he's plateaued for years. infinity is infinity.
gymnopediste 5th-Feb-2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
Kevin will reveal that he is, in fact, a woman.
Super Junior will absorb SHINee and/or whichever members of DBSK they like most to make up for all the ~lost~ members. ONLY 13!!!!
risu_risu 5th-Feb-2010 10:04 pm (UTC)
"Kevin will reveal that he is, in fact, a woman."

no one will be shocked.
magickismight 5th-Feb-2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
Taemin of Shinee fame, will some how gain the physique of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger, of Austrian bodybuilder fame.
LOL PLEASE NO. I like him skinny~

f.cuz will officially change their name to fuckahz and in turn skyrocketing their popularity. At which point f(ex)'s manager changes the groups name to fed(ex) resulting in a massive decline in sales but better shipping.
LOOOOL WIN.
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