2009 has passed and ahead of us a whole new year. The great Swami-Nim has seen much of his predictions come to pass through the years. Today I share with you the knowledge of what is to come.
I ask for complete silence. I see.. yes I see it... the images are beginning to take form. It's all coming to me now...
I will now share what I see in the kpop forture!
•Taemin of Shinee fame, will some how gain the physique of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger, of Austrian bodybuilder fame.
•Through a series of nearly impossible events, Taecyeon's cat drawings will come to life. They will form a super group and win rookie of the year. I see so much butthurt.
•Fashion designer Andre Kim will be picked back up by the mother ship and taken promptly forth at the speed of 400,002 onew to his home planet, where he will rule as their king for 250 years. In comparison to earth years this is about 7 months. The revolt will be a bloodbath.
•In a rare tweet, God proclaims I LOVE SHIBROWS MACROS #itsaKPOPthing
•Kim Heechul of Super Junior, will marry his cat Heebum in a quiet ceremony attended by their parents and closest friends. The honeymoon will take place at Korea's Hawaii, Jeju island.
•Haters will still hate, Omona is still great.
•On South Korea's version of Maury Povich, it will be revealed that Yesung truly is the son of the North Korean Supreme leader Kim Jong-il. Upon the revealing of the results, a group of swallows sent by god will descend upon the set and whisk yesung away.
•Russian scientists uncover the gene responsible for the onew condition.
•North Korea commits terrorist attacks that infect populations with the onew condition.
•Singer and actor Rain will almost get the hang of the word 'vegetable' but not quite. It's getting there.
•Korean scientists will successfully cross breed a cat (goyangi) 고양이 and a tiger (holangi) 호랑이 calling it the golangi. (고랑이)
•f.cuz will be censored. No further explanation is given.
•Because of a serious rip in the space-time continuum, JYP spends a week in dinosaur times. Not knowing when or if he will return to his own time he goes on about his life doing normal things such as dating, performing, producing pop groups and raising a family.
•Omona bbz will flourish and multiply.
•f.cuz will officially change their name to fuckahz and in turn skyrocketing their popularity. At which point f(ex)'s manager changes the groups name to fed(ex) resulting in a massive decline in sales but better shipping.
•A particle of dirt floats into Lee Byung Hun's eye causing him to wink in the direction of a woman. There is a misunderstanding and he is slapped with a lawsuit.
•M-Preg becomes an all too real reality.
•G-Dragon will defy all logic and debut a new hairstyle that is a direct copy of vegetable man.
•Yesung will go full retarded. Which I'm told you should never do.
I... I... I'm sorry but the visions are leaving my crystal ball.... everything is becoming very cloudy. Omona, maybe if you look into my ball you will be able to see what lays ahead for us.
Try and tell me your predictions for 2010. No matter how outlandish or silly they may sound. JUST LET YOUR MIND FREE!