Warning: discussion of suicide and self-harm.
Former AOA member Mina has posted on her Instagram account to share her thoughts.
In July, Mina wrote a series of posts with details about being bullied by her former member Jimin for several years, and Jimin left the group after this was revealed. On August 5, Mina shared an update with her fans through an Instagram broadcast and said she was doing well.
On August 6, Mina uploaded a graphic photo of her wrist on her Instagram and wrote the following post:
"I’ll just say everything. But before that, to my fans and the public, don’t worry. I did a photo shoot, which I really enjoy, and this photo is what happened after I recently exchanged KakaoTalk messages with an FNC employee. I talked to the employee about [Jimin’s] statement, telling them, “What does she mean she apologized? She shouldn’t lie.”
They told me they’d check, and a while later they said that’s what it looked like to them. Someone who came to apologize opens their eyes like that, looks for a knife, speaks like that, says they don’t remember, and looks me straight in the eye? If she can’t remember, how can I receive an apology? I give up. [Trigger Warning]Anyway, the FNC employee’s message was so outrageous that I attempted suicide again, and my manager from my current agency quickly rushed here and took me to a university hospital.
I cut [my wrist] so many times that my nerves are all damaged and the anaesthetic doesn’t work, so I had to go through the entire pain of the stitches. The doctors injected painkillers for me. I feel guilty for giving the doctors such a hard time. I don’t know what she sees in me, but my ex-manager unni stayed by my side the whole time.
And at the end of [Jimin’s] statement, I don’t know who told her to do this, but it said, “Mina-e-gae” (“To Mina” misspelled in Korean; “gae” means dog) at first and was edited to “Mina-e-ge” (correct spelling of “To Mina”). Why did she apologize to my dog? I heard she was halting her activities in the entertainment industry, but does that mean she’ll be back when things get quiet? I won’t see that happen. I was in so much more pain for 11 years. She still has her Instagram account and YouTube channel.. Why am I saying this when I have them too? At least I never lied to her. She’ll never understand the pain I went through. I have a clear conscience. She even wrote “Fiction” and took it down because her manager told her to, and she sleeps well using pills.
At the end, when I told FNC that I was suffering because of her, they got me a psychiatrist, so I thought they were really thinking of me. But that psychiatrist told me other people’s stories. Isn’t it illegal for psychiatrists to talk to me about what another person went through? It makes me think that they might have told someone else about my story. I’ve never complained once about my trainee debt or my payment. When I was told to say a phrase, that’s all I did. Someone who actually made requests talked about a solo career. Parents coming in and telling [the company] to let their daughter do a certain activity? My parents only came in the beginning when they had to, and they never came after that. My parents and I, unlike other people, never said a word of complaint. I fell countless times and still do to this day, but I’ll get better. I’m going to persistently get better and try to live on while only looking forward, and I’m trying now.
But FNC and [Jimin], was it so hard to say a sincere word of apology? I used to not think much and was bright and optimistic. I didn’t have to take pills for depression or insomnia and didn’t have social phobia or social anxiety. I used to sleep 15 hours a day, but now I wake up after an hour of sleep. Is everyone doing well? I’m sure that in a big company, you wouldn’t care about one person like me. If you did care, you would have contacted me at least once. I’m scared that you’ll be thinking of me as a crazy psycho. It’s already too late for a sincere apology. Please think about and care about each trainee, singer, actor, and sunbaenim and take care of them so no one turns out like me again. When I say that I can’t renew the contract because of a certain person, ask me what’s happening and how much I’m suffering, instead of talking about the damages for breach of contract because of the next scheduled events and advertisements.
President, when you said that the deposit for the contract renewal “isn’t given to you based on your mental pain,” you were right. That’s correct, and that’s why I’ve already given you the payment, but I’m still honestly having a hard time. But there are a lot of people who are supporting me, and the people at my current agency think of me as a person first, and that helps me a lot.
Someone on YouTube saw my wrist and said something like, “It seems like Mina needs attention. She’s wanting to receive attention,” and from a third party’s point of view that is certainly what it can seem like. How strange must I seem? But I’ve only spoken about a small portion of the whole. The reason I talked to the world about something I hadn’t been able to properly tell my closest friend of 11 years or my family, even now, is not because I wanted attention. It’s true that I’m an attention-seeker, but seeking attention through this incident? No. I’ll tell you something. [Trigger Warning]If I wanted attention, I could have stopped at saying I wanted to die and harming myself. But I really attempted to take my own life several times. I shouldn’t think this way, but I was suffering so much and wanted to die so much that I felt resentful of the people who came to save me. My family says they’re scared. They cry when I’m taken to the hospital, passed out with blood all over and my wrist open. What did my family do wrong.. I’m so frustrated and angry that I can’t sleep, and I wonder why I’m still a victim, who I should tell all of this to, and who I should be asking for a compensation for my broken self. I hope there won’t be anyone like me in the future."
Fans expressed their concern for Mina after the post was uploaded, and her current agency Woori Actors reassured fans saying, “Mina is in good health currently. She’s resting at home after being discharged from the hospital.”
Later in the day, she shared another Instagram post to clarify her earlier post and answer questions she received.
The post reads as follows:
"I didn’t attempt suicide right now. It was something I did around a month ago after talking to an FNC employee. And there have been many people asking me through DMs (direct messages) about why I unfollowed the members, cursing at me, or telling me to explain something, and I’ll talk about that because I don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve to be cursed at..
First, everyone knows about the incident with Shin Ji Min unni so you probably understand that. Best friend Kim did not bat an eye when Shin unni spoke ill of Kim herself. I used to think of Kim as a good friend, but I wasn’t able to get closer to her because she was Shin’s best friend. I got worried about her and gave her sincere advice and truly worried about her. Of course, all of the members knew that I was having a hard time because of Shin unni, and when we spoke together at the end, Kim said she didn’t care what happens and just didn’t like the current situation.
From my point of view, she was a bystander, and what she said disappointed me. When they all came with Shin Ji Min unni to give the apology that didn’t even seem like an apology, the other younger “Kim” asked, “What was a good memory you had?” She’s young, so even when she nagged, I let her do it. I know she’s young, but I utterly couldn’t understand why she said that. Cursing about that unni in front of me and getting on her good side behind me, that might be what social life is, but as someone who’s not good with my social life, she didn’t seem sincere, and I couldn’t understand her. And Seo unni did sincerely care about me and think about me, but no one stepped forward in front of Shin Ji Min unni. Same-aged Shin at least told unni, “Why can’t you remember? Even I know it and everyone knows it.” She also told me to receive a proper apology, but how can I when the apology isn’t proper? In my eyes, yes, someone used the word “bystander,” the Kims, especially the best friend, were bystanders from my point of view, so I unfollowed her first. Later, I wanted to erase my memories of AOA, so I unfollowed all of them. I’m not asking you to understand my reasoning or to stop sending me DMs, but I just wanted to honestly talk about my stance and my thoughts."
Mina also shared an update with fans through a live Instagram broadcast. While shooting a pictorial with bnt International on August 5, she held a live broadcast on the magazine’s Instagram account. “It’s my first time filming in a while, so it feels a bit strange,” she said. “It’s a very polished concept.”
In addition to getting to see her take photos for the shoot, fans also got an update on how she’s been.
“I’ve been doing well,” she said. “My hair’s gotten really long too.” She expressed her thanks to her fans for their messages of support.
“I’m walking a flower road now,” she commented. “I hope we see each other a lot in the future.” She shared her plans to be really active with work.
She also said she wants to communicate with fans often. “I’m preparing a lot in order to communicate with you,” Mina said. “You’ll be very surprised later.”
Mina shared, “I’m receiving treatment so that I can work soon. Step by step, I’m going to try hard so that I can do the work I enjoy and act.”
source: @soompi, soompi 2, kvwowv 2, naver 2 3 4
Wishing the best to Mina :(
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