2009 was an exceptionally tough one for Taeyang (23·real name Dong Young Bae). Managing both Big Bang’s activities in Japan and preparing for his solo album, he got more and more tired both mentally and physically.
“I feel last year was just a blank in my life. It was a nervous time, maybe because it was the third year in my singing career.”
For him, it has often been obligatory to stand on stages. Singing in an uncharged state, he has been exhausted and it has been hard on his mind.
He was the happiest, singing and dancing in front of audiences and he believe that was what brought him the most happiness, but he also felt pathetic towards himself that he couldn’t do his best.
“I thought I didn’t sing sincerely, and felt like ‘What did I do on the stage?’.”
This was during the time he had to prepare for his solo album under pressed schedules. His music didn’t come from the mind to begin with. His mind felt unstable, like he was pressed for something, and there was no particular goal for an outcome.
“After schedules were finished, I had to prepare my solo activities. I was pressed for time and pressed for work, so I couldn’t have the peace of mind I wanted”
At that time, he sang to tunes and beats but there was no emotion. The doors of his heart were shut as well. It was hard for him to meet people and smile.
“I didn’t even want to see people so I just stayed home. Besides, I couldn’t sleep well…”
But the moment he saw the first snow of 2010, he changed his mind.
“It’s too hard to live like this.”