Reminder: TOP’s Star Diary series is written in his point of view, as if we were reading his journal entries.
I shed some tears at the Into the Gunfire premiere without even realizing. It’s not because I kept remembering how hard it was to film, but I think even now I haven’t yet broken away from Oh Jang Bum. Because no one knows Jang Bum’s heart like I do…
If I had been acting the part of TOP on stage, I gained the character of Jang Bum through this movie. I was afraid that I’d be stamped with an ‘upright image’ if I took on the role of student soldier lieutenant Oh Jang Bum. But I’m an actor now too, so I should get used to the job of putting on a character and then taking it off, right?
Before I knew it, I had two jobs. Though I’m still a tadpole. ^^ Looking at my seniors, I often realize that I have to learn a lot from them. The seniors from our company, the president, Seung Woo, Sang Woo, Seung Won, I feel a great amount as I watch my seniors.
I don’t want to become a star or someone who’s calculative. When I recently met up with Byun Hun, he said to me, “Seung Hyun, I don’t want any dirt to get on you.” He said that to me because he’s a senior that knows me pretty well. If I have no purity, I won’t be able to convey anything to the audience when I sing or when I act.
Now the figure that I portrayed and the film that I acted in, it is time for the public to evaluate all of it. I am nervous and expectant. But my current image is that of Big Bang’s TOP. I’ve spent two months working on music for Big Bang. It’s time to pour all my energy into something new. It’s time to kick furiously under the water for the people who admire me.
TRANS: seungie @ tumblr